To paraphrase the T.V. show Mystery Science Theater 3000, Resident Evil: The Mercenaries 3D isn’t really a game — it’s more of a game loaf, made from real game parts, chunked and formed. The “parts” in this case come from The Mercenaries, an extra mode found in Resident Evils 4 and 5, made to act as a pleasant diversion from the main attraction — not a stand-alone experience. And therein lies the problem: It takes a lot of effort on the developer’s part to justify selling a formerly free novelty as a $40 boxed product (also, let’s not forget that RE4 and 5 can be now found for $10-and-less across many platforms). Unfortunately, Capcom didn’t invest the necessary manpower in their attempt to translate this popular franchise to the newest generation of handhelds, resulting in a cynical and hateful product that’s essentially Buyer’s Remorse: The Game.
If you’re not familiar with The Mercenaries, it’s basically an arcadey version of the fast-paced horror-combat pioneered in Resident Evil 4. You choose from one of the series’ many popular characters (with optional goofy costumes), enter a stage recycled from the main game, and try to stay alive as long as possible while collecting time bonuses and racking up points through a combo-based system. Performing well earns you higher grades, which unlock new characters and other goodies. The Mercenaries 3D keeps the trappings of this six year-old mini-game intact, but also throws in a few extra odds and ends engineered to drag an inherently shallow experience hours and hours beyond its expiration date.
