A cultivated student is the perfect fertilizer for society’s growth. Or something.

No Pineapple Left Behind, a playful insight into the fruitless methods of modern education management, is available now DRM-free on GOG.com for Windows, Mac, and Linux, with a 10% launch discount.

Do you remember that kid from junior high who reminded you of a pineapple? Always eager to please the teacher, sit quietly through classes, take tests, and compare grades? For a school principal, this is the stuff of dreams. But because life is a cruel hag, he is usually stuck with *human* children instead. Ugh. Well, thankfully, this travesty is finally coming to an end!

See, running a school is no child’s play. The little devils are unruly, demanding, unpredictable beings. But pineapples express no desires and exhibit no tendencies towards insubordination. Good grades and unquestionable obedience are profitable for the school, so as a sensible businessman, your job is to turn children into pineapples and not ever let them change back. Some parents may raise concerns and you’ve also got the teacher’s work schedules, the students’ curriculums, and the needs of your staff to manage, but with spells like “Trigonomancy” at your disposal, this should be easier than reciting the alphabet. It starts with a “p”, right?

Weed out the bothersome students and fill your buzzing classrooms with compliant fruit in the satirical manager/simulation No Pineapple Left Behind, DRM-free on GOG.com. And if you enjoy the whimsical sound of studious pineapples, make sure to also grab the game’s OST. The 10% launch discount will last until February 25, 4:59 PM GMT.

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